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Rings (chapter 2)
  Anne turned to me and took my hands in hers, something she'd never done before. "Look, you're nice, but do you really want to live with a girl like me?"
  I held her hands as I answered. "Look, I didn't mean you to take me so seriously. What's so awful about you that you think I'd have a problem with?"
  She said she'd tell me later, but it was to be more than a month before she said anything more. By then, we sometimes ended up holding hands when we walked together, and one of the guys at the support group had joked as we left that evening that we looked like we were getting a bit romantic with each other. I jokingly suggested that we get married, and although she knew I was teasing, she stopped me outside looked at me with a serious look.
  "Look, this teasing's got to stop."
  "Why?" I asked.
  "Because you don't want to marry me."
  "Why not?" I asked, realizing that I was serious. "Really, why not. I think I really like you enough that I could live with you 'till death do us part' if I had to."
  "You don't want to do it!"
  "Why?"
  "OK," she said, sighing. "I haven't been entirely open with you or with the support group. Yes, Janet and I were promiscuous, but there was more to it than that."
  "What do you mean?" I asked.
She looked down at herself. "I used to dress the part, I used to really like seeing men react to my body, but now I'm scared. I guess I've been dressing pretty prudishly ever since Janet got AIDS, part of being a new puritan, like the minister said at the meeting."
  She paused to collect her thoughts before she continued. "Janet and I were roommates, you know, and we shared our men. We made love together, in the same bed, sometimes with one man and sometimes with more, and sometimes just the two of us. We made love to each other fairly often; at first, we only did it when we shared a man, but it was fun enough that we did it when we were alone together, although that wasn't often."
  I could tell that there was real regret in her voice, that she'd really enjoyed the lifestyle she was describing. At the same time, I was a bit shocked. I knew that some of the gays in our support group had enjoyed something of a similar lifestyle, but I had a hard time facing the fact that someone I was attracted to was like that. As a result, I stopped my offers of marriage for a month or so, but by the time June arrived, I'd come to face the fact that I liked Anne despite what she'd told me.
  Anne always brushed me off the same way when I proposed marriage; she'd always tell me that there was more about her that she didn't want me to know for fear that it would end a pleasant friendship.
  I asked her again today, July third, while we were on our way back from the local clinic where we got our periodic HIV screenings; neither of us had had any sexual contacts for six months, but we were scared enough by our experiences to keep going back to the clinic every month. On the way out, we agreed to get together for a picnic dinner tomorrow, before the fireworks on the fourth. I made my usual proposal, half in jest but half seriously, and Anne surpirsed me completely by answering yes.
  She drove us immediately to the county courthouse. I was still in a daze as she marched us up to the clerk's office and rang the bell. I'd made my usual offer of marriage, but I hadn't expected her to accept on the spot, and her fast followthrough left me reeling. She filled out as much of the form the clerk handed her as she could, then handed it to me to fill out my part.
  I'm not sure I fully realized what I was doing, but when the clerk asked for medical lab reports certifying that we were free of the diseases the state cares about, I felt a wave of relief as I realized that we hadn't taken care of that formality. I was wrong. Anne answered the clerk's request by pulling a form out of her purse.
  It took me a while to realize that our paranoid visits to the clinic for AIDS testing every month had included tests for all the other diseases the state might care about. The form I had in my shirt pocket was more than enough to satisfy the clerk.
  "When's the wedding?" The clerk asked.
  "How about now?" Anne replied. "Is there anyone around here who can do it?"
  There was; a judge had some free time. I went through the entire thing in a daze, and then Anne drove me back to her place, not saying a word until she let me out of the car.
  "Well hubby," she said, holding the car door open for me, "come on up and see what you've gotten yourself into."
  "OK," I said, following her up the stairs. We'd never seen each others' rooms before, I'd never done more than hold her hands, and now we were married. I'd been serially monogamous all my adult life, but I'd always checked out the wares, as the saying goes, before I moved in with any of my previous lovers.
  As Anne led me into her apartment, she gave me a brief tour. The place was a recently rehabbed loft over a bookstore. There was one window, a picture window looking out over the street; the rest of the light came from skylights in the flat roof. It was a one-room apartment, but a big one, with a kitchenette filling one of the back corners, modern bathroom fixtures in another corner, and a large waterbed under the window. Her only other furnature was a large drafting table along one wall next to a workbench cluttered with the tools of her jewelry making business.
  "No wall around your bathroom?" I asked, surprised.
"They hadn't finished the place yet when they showed it to me, and they cut the rent when I agreed to take it without internal walls. Like it?"

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